The Woman

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day

An angel came by and said: “Why spend so much time on that one?”

And the Lord answered: “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her ?”

“She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken hearth and she must do all this with only two hands”.

The angel was impressed.

“Just two hands....impossible!“

And this is the standard model?!

“Too much work for one day....wait until tomorrow and then complete her”.

“I will not”, said the Lord.

“I am so close to completing this creation, which will be the favourite of my heart”.

“She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day”.

The angel came nearer and touched the woman.

“But you have made her so soft, Lord”

“She is soft”, said the Lord, “But I have also made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.”

“Can she think?” the angel asked.

The Lord answered:

“Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.”

The angel touched the womans cheek....

“Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.”

“She is not leaking....it’s a tear” the lord corrected the angel

“What’s it for?” asked the angel.

And the Lord said:

“Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”

This made a big impression on the angel; “Lord, you are genius.

You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvellous!”

Indeed she is!

Woman has strengths that amazes man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.

She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when feeling like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying, cries when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid.

She fights for what she belives in.

Stand up against injustice.

She doesn’t take “no” for an answer, when she can see a better solution. She gives herself so her family can thrive. She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid.

Her love is unconditional.

She cries when her kids are victorious. She is happy when her friends do well.

She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding.

Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies.

But she finds the strength to get on with life.

She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

There is only one thing wrong with her

She forgets what she is worth...

Cookies in Airport

Imagine you are at an Airport. While you're waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally, you find a seat next to a gentleman.

You reach down into your traveling bag and pull out your box of cookies. As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely. He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches
over and takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You're more than a little surprised at this. Actually, you're at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but also he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.

Now, what's your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He's got some nerve? Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at the office? Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there's just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he's finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.

You think to yourself, "Did this really happen?" You're left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when you glance down into your traveling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of cookies - still unopened.

Only then do you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man's bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You've just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You're seeing things from a new point of view. Is it time to change your point of view?

Moral: Many a times, we are clouded by our own instincts and predispositions. These hamper our relationship with our peers, subordinates and superiors. Try to be non-judgmental and look beyond the obvious.

Love is...

* A Sea Of Emotions Entirely Surrounded By Expenses

* A Situation Which Happens When You Think Almost As Much Of Another As You Do Of Yourself

* A Strange Feeling That Comes Over A Man; When He Keeps Wanting To Call A Girl By His Last Name

* A Word Used To Label The Sexual Excitement Of The Young, The Habituation Of The Middle Aged, And The Mutual Dependence Of The Old

* An Emotion, Even If Unreturned, Has Its Rainbow

* Is A Fan Club With Only Two Members

* Is Like Measles; Much Worse When It Comes Late In Life

* Is Like The Action Similar To An Hourglass: The Heart Fills As The Brain Empties

* Is Like War; Simple To Begin But REALLY HARD to Stop

* Man's Grand Delusion That One Woman Differs From Another

* Sharing Whatever you've Got With Whomever you're Getting It From

* Something They Say Is Blind; It's Marriage Which Is The Real Eye Opener

* The Child Of Illusion And The Parent Of Disillusion

* The Last And Most Serious Of The Childhood Diseases

* The Most Slippery Word In The Human Language

* The Only Fire For Which There Is No Insurance

* The Only Game That Two Can Play And Both Win

* The Warm Feeling You Get Towards Someone Who Meets Your Neurotic Needs

Eleven Rules Of Life

Rule One
Life is not fair; get used to it.

Rule Two
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule Three
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with car phone, until you earn both.

Rule Four
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

Rule Five
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

Rule Six
If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule Seven
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

Rule Eight
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule Nine
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule Ten
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule Eleven
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Modern day lesson

A jobless man applied for the position of "Office Boy" at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are employed."

He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot
have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the
supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two
hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man
realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or
tripled every day.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a
protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied,
"I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build
an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire..........

Love and Marriage

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."


"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick." The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."

Five Important Lessons

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked ! if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.


2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm! . Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..

It read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.


3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.


4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.


5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Listen

When a man whose marriage was in trouble sought his advice, the Master said, "You must learn to listen to your wife."

The man took this advice to heart and returned after a month to say that he had learned to listen to every word his wife was saying.

Said the Master with a smile, "Now go home and listen to every word she isn't saying."

Food As Medicine

HEADACHE ? EAT FISH
Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches.
So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.

HAY FEVER ? EAT YOGURT
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.

TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA
Prevent build-up of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading..Green tea is great for our immune system)!

INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP ?) HONEY
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.

ASTHMA ? EAT ONIONS
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (when I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest, helped the respiratory ailments and actually made us breathe better).

ARTHRITIS ? EAT FISH, TOO
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)

UPSET STOMACH ? BANANAS - GINGER
Bananas will settle an upset stomach.
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.

BLADDER INFECTION ? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.

BONE PROBLEMS ? EAT PINEAPPLE
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME ? EAT CORNFLAKES
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.

MEMORY PROBLEMS ? EAT OYSTERS
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.

COLDS ? EAT GARLIC
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)

COUGHING ? USE RED PEPPERS
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.

BREAST CANCER ? EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogens at healthy levels.

LUNG CANCER ? EAT DARK GREEN & ORANGE AND VEGGIES
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.

ULCERS ? EAT CABBAGE ALSO
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.

DIARRHEA ? EAT APPLES
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)

CLOGGED ARTERIES ? EAT AVOCADO
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE ? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.

BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE ? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.

Kiwifruit: But mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E & fibre. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

Apple: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

Strawberry: Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits &protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually, any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they actually keep us young.........blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies)

Orange : Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer.

Watermelon: Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients
found in watermelon are Vitamin C &Potassium. (watermelon also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn suv rays)
Guava &Papaya: Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent constipation.

Papaya: is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion)

Tomatoes: are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies