Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Woman

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day

An angel came by and said: “Why spend so much time on that one?”

And the Lord answered: “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her ?”

“She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken hearth and she must do all this with only two hands”.

The angel was impressed.

“Just two hands....impossible!“

And this is the standard model?!

“Too much work for one day....wait until tomorrow and then complete her”.

“I will not”, said the Lord.

“I am so close to completing this creation, which will be the favourite of my heart”.

“She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day”.

The angel came nearer and touched the woman.

“But you have made her so soft, Lord”

“She is soft”, said the Lord, “But I have also made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.”

“Can she think?” the angel asked.

The Lord answered:

“Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.”

The angel touched the womans cheek....

“Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.”

“She is not’s a tear” the lord corrected the angel

“What’s it for?” asked the angel.

And the Lord said:

“Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”

This made a big impression on the angel; “Lord, you are genius.

You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvellous!”

Indeed she is!

Woman has strengths that amazes man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.

She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when feeling like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying, cries when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid.

She fights for what she belives in.

Stand up against injustice.

She doesn’t take “no” for an answer, when she can see a better solution. She gives herself so her family can thrive. She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid.

Her love is unconditional.

She cries when her kids are victorious. She is happy when her friends do well.

She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding.

Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies.

But she finds the strength to get on with life.

She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

There is only one thing wrong with her

She forgets what she is worth...

Cookies in Airport

Imagine you are at an Airport. While you're waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally, you find a seat next to a gentleman.

You reach down into your traveling bag and pull out your box of cookies. As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely. He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches
over and takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You're more than a little surprised at this. Actually, you're at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but also he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.

Now, what's your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He's got some nerve? Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at the office? Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there's just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he's finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.

You think to yourself, "Did this really happen?" You're left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when you glance down into your traveling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of cookies - still unopened.

Only then do you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man's bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You've just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You're seeing things from a new point of view. Is it time to change your point of view?

Moral: Many a times, we are clouded by our own instincts and predispositions. These hamper our relationship with our peers, subordinates and superiors. Try to be non-judgmental and look beyond the obvious.

Love is...

* A Sea Of Emotions Entirely Surrounded By Expenses

* A Situation Which Happens When You Think Almost As Much Of Another As You Do Of Yourself

* A Strange Feeling That Comes Over A Man; When He Keeps Wanting To Call A Girl By His Last Name

* A Word Used To Label The Sexual Excitement Of The Young, The Habituation Of The Middle Aged, And The Mutual Dependence Of The Old

* An Emotion, Even If Unreturned, Has Its Rainbow

* Is A Fan Club With Only Two Members

* Is Like Measles; Much Worse When It Comes Late In Life

* Is Like The Action Similar To An Hourglass: The Heart Fills As The Brain Empties

* Is Like War; Simple To Begin But REALLY HARD to Stop

* Man's Grand Delusion That One Woman Differs From Another

* Sharing Whatever you've Got With Whomever you're Getting It From

* Something They Say Is Blind; It's Marriage Which Is The Real Eye Opener

* The Child Of Illusion And The Parent Of Disillusion

* The Last And Most Serious Of The Childhood Diseases

* The Most Slippery Word In The Human Language

* The Only Fire For Which There Is No Insurance

* The Only Game That Two Can Play And Both Win

* The Warm Feeling You Get Towards Someone Who Meets Your Neurotic Needs

Monday, October 09, 2006

Eleven Rules Of Life

Rule One
Life is not fair; get used to it.

Rule Two
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule Three
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with car phone, until you earn both.

Rule Four
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

Rule Five
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

Rule Six
If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule Seven
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

Rule Eight
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule Nine
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule Ten
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule Eleven
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.